A Whole Lotta Opinion and Maybe a Little Something Else

Posted: December 25, 2011 in Christianity, Gender Stuff, Non-fiction
Tags: , , ,

One of my friends gave me a book for Christmas called “Set-Apart Femininity.” (First of all, just the word femininity is a tongue twister.) It talks about honouring God with your life and honouring the purity of marriage. I’m sure my friend meant well, and this in no way reflects on her, but I find that kind of book rather sexist. Like, seriously, doesn’t this stuff apply to guys just as much as girls? On top of that, I don’t really want anybody trying to tell me how to be feminine! I’ll be feminine if I want, I’ll be a tomboy if I want.

I sometimes wonder… am I anyone’s “only one”? The only one they can have a good intellectual conversation with, the only one with the same tastes in music, the only one who not only professes but actually practices the same beliefs? I know, for me, there’s somebody that’s all of those. I’ve wondered if we somehow have two parts of the same brain. He’s even sometimes said exactly what I was thinking, without knowing it.

“Set-Apart Femininity” deals a lot with love. It says that in order to preserve his masculine power or something and my feminine mystique, under no circumstances should I take any sort of initiative, just wait for him to get the courage to talk to me. Really? I don’t know about that. What if he’s shy and sensitive and I’m outgoing, but other than that we’re perfectly compatible? “Oh, just wait for him. He’ll man up, and if not, somebody better will come along.” HA! Nice. The book also falsely assumes I want a man that’s going to take charge, be in control and protect me, like I’m some kind of damsel in distress that has to be rescued. Listen up, guys: if there’s a dragon to fight, I am grabbing a sword and doing my fair share of the fighting. (On a side note, I won’t be wearing Xena-esque or otherwise “fantasy” armour that leaves my chest and legs exposed, either, but that’s an entirely different subject.)

Here’s another thing: I don’t care if my eventual boyfriend and someday husband is tall, strong, handsome, and the most amazing guitar player in the school (although any of those would be nice, you know.) And this may seem to go against a bunch of stuff I already said, but it really doesn’t. I want a guy who’s got a strong personality. Someone who doesn’t make me fight the dragons alone, but who doesn’t want me to sit out the battles. Who writes/sings songs/poems for/about me, but who will let me sing for him, too.

Thanks for letting me rant at you :)


  1. D says:

    Glad ya got your head in a good place !
    SOMETIMES, you might NEED some rescuing & then it is nice if ANY friend (male, “Special male”, or female) helps.
    But you are right… if you are able, great to BATTLE BESIDE “Him”. There will be times when You are the warrior, then others when he is… others when you both are. Be flexable.
    Good ranting.

  2. Proud 1 says:

    Excellent points, gender stereotypes are not rules of right and wrong. Some guys appreciate strong women… and you are definetly a strong woman. Be yourself, because integrity begins with being true to yourself.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Have we ever come a long way since the suffrage! It is enlightening to see how a 15 yr old responds to such literature. Something to consider…, the bible was written by men….the books written by women were taken out. Jesus himself honored all women.

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