Posts Tagged ‘dating’

The Teenage Phenomenon

Posted: April 1, 2015 in Non-fiction
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When you think of the “modern teenager”, not a lot of positive images come to mind. Things like juvenile delinquency, self-harm, smoking, alcohol, drug use, and distrust and disrespect for authority. Now think of an “average teenage girl”. Shallow, covered in makeup, and caring way more about clothes than any kind of intellectual topic. Just the fact that shows like “16 and Pregnant” and “Jersey Shore” exist says something about the perceived average teenager. The sad part is that stereotypes are based in reality. Even sadder is that often, it doesn’t stop at twenty.

I’m by no means saying that all teenagers are like this – that’d be pretty hypocritical of me, wouldn’t it? – but the truly average teenager displays at least a couple of these traits. I think the problem stems from teenagers being physically mature and really ready to take care of themselves, but not given even an opportunity to take on the responsibility of adulthood. The teenage phenomenon is when people are in a state of being responsible to no one, sometimes including themselves, where they care mostly about their social life and their own pleasure. This is currently a normal part of life, but it hasn’t always been, and it can be dangerous when people remain in that state for too long. When adults who are still in that state influence actual teens, then you get in serious trouble.

The whole idea of a teenager in its current form, a person between childhood and adulthood, is a concept less than a century old. My great-grandmother was married by the time she was my age, and my grandmother was supporting herself by teaching primary school. Historically, people were children until they were adults. From before the middle ages right up until the Victorian era, people could be, and often were, married off or otherwise forced to grow up well before they were fifteen. After WWI, people in general were wealthier than they were before, allowing the freedom to wait until later to become adults (but as mentioned before, many still made the transition to adulthood early.) This was accompanied by less strict ideas of how one should behave. As people remained on their parents’ dime with more freedom and no strings to hold them down, they paid less attention to what they should be doing, and more attention to what felt good. Thus, the teenage phenomenon was born. Still, most people settled down relatively quickly, and nice, tidy, nuclear families were still the norm. People went through the teenage phase and then swiftly grew up. The sixties saw a shift, though, with hippies and the whole idea of “free love”.  It wasn’t so completely abnormal any more to be adolescent for a long time. Through the seventies, eighties, nineties, and early two thousands, it became more and more acceptable to remain in the teenage state for a long time.

Here is where the teenage phenomenon can get dangerous. A person who remains in that state of no-strings-attached fun times can get into major trouble when they chase after more and more “fun”. When a person is only responsible to his or her self, they can hop from relationship to relationship or go through a string of marry-divorce-repeat and it doesn’t mean anything. That’s destroying the sanctity of marriage as much as gay marriage is, for sure. This is dangerous in several ways: teens find a way to get into trouble on their own, adults still experiencing the teenage phenomenon get into even bigger trouble, and the largest group of adult teens (celebrities) influence actual teens to be just like them.

Let’s say, on another angle, there’s a certain girl who is physically mature at 14. In medieval times, she would have gotten married and that would have been it. Nowadays, she is expected to wait ten more years before getting married. She doesn’t want to wait that long, and others stuck in the teen phase tell her it’s perfectly OK not to. So she goes ahead and gets a boyfriend and ends up pregnant at sixteen. Whoah, big mistake, right? Going to ruin her life, right? Back not so long ago, within the last half century, she would have married the boyfriend and started a family and lived a happy enough life. My point in saying all this is that as the expected teenage years stretch out, you get people ready to make adult decisions but not allowed to take the responsibility and deal with the consequences. They make the decisions any way, and the consequences are handled quite a bit by other people. They expect that pattern to continue even until they really should be dealing with it themselves.

A lot of teenagers go through the teenage phenomenon, and they make mistakes, learn lessons, and grow out of it. But, could the amount of mistakes made be reduced with a bit more responsibility? If that girl actually had to stay with the first guy she had sex with, would she reconsider the tiny dress? If that guy had to earn enough money to eat, would he have smoked that first cigarette? We may never know.

Thanks for reading!
~Another Jesus Freak

Author’s note: This post has been in draft form since April 8, 2013. I was 16 at the time of writing. It was never published because I wasn’t sure if what I was saying was truth or just what I was feeling. After rediscovering it and reading it over I have decided to publish it unedited, because it’s the truth the way I see it, just as much as anything else on this blog.


Ladies and gentlemen, please stop friendzoning! The Friendzone is this thing where a girl says a guy is  her best friend, but she wouldn’t date him. I don’t know if that’s because she thinks it’s because he’s not good enough or too good. I don’t do it because it’s stupid. If a guy is good enough to be a close friend, he’s good enough to be a potential date. Of course there are guys that already have girlfriends but I’m still friends with them, which is different. I’m talking about single guys here, or at least if they were single. And of course there are guys that I would only be friends with at arms’ length, and others I don’t want anything to do with, but anyone I allow as close as that up there would be the kind of guy I’d say yes to if he asked me out.

Now, what other girls do should be of no real concern to me, except that it alters other people’s general worldview and from there the world I live in. What I mean is, girls friendzone nice guys (for some reason I’ll never figure out) and go for the *********s instead. Then those nice guys think, “Well if girls don’t like me, maybe I’m gay.” Other people will tell them that, too, if they’re not all into sports and stuff (which is another really stupid thing wrong with the world). So, the few of us girls who have  a bit of sense see these nice guys for what they really are, but now these guys are split into two parts. One set of guys gives in to the pressure and decides they’re gay. (Have you ever noticed that you’ll find a lot more gay guys than lesbian girls? Yeah, societal pressure does that.) The other set of guys thinks those of us who may actually like like them are just friendzoning them too, which becomes a major problem it’s really hard for a girl to hint that she likes this guy in such a way that is subtle, but he actually takes the hint. So she can’t go out with him unless the girl wants to ask him out, which is a bad idea because then he’ll get scared away and… yeah. To summarize: If a guy’s used to being friendzoned, it becomes a lot harder for a girl to go out with him.

Now, occasionally a guy does this too, so I know from my female friends that it is quite annoying. The moral of the story is: if a person of the opposite gender is worth enough to you to be a really close friend, can you try to see them for what they really are? As I’ve been advised more than once, “Marry your best friend.”

Thanks for reading!

P.S. This is compiled from talking to friends, not from personal experience. :P


Posted: March 11, 2012 in Fiction
Tags: , ,

Candlelight flickered over the table and cast a golden glow on her features. There were many lovely ladies among those in the grand dining room, but none as beautiful as her. Her lips were painted a lovely shade of pink, and they smiled, revealing a pearly set of teeth. Her eyes were soft caramel, and her chocolate coloured hair was up in an elegant bun. The black dress she wore fell so it covered one leg halfway down her calf, but revealed the other leg up to the thigh. Whenever he glanced upon her fair face, it took his breath away.

The hour had grown late, and he asked permission to escort her to her suite. With a gentle nod of permission, they rose. He took her dainty white-gloved hand and walked with her through the lobby, under the shimmering chandelier, and up the curved stairway to the Luxxe Hotel’s famous five-star suites.  He bowed and kissed her hand, wishing her a good night’s sleep. “My balcony has a beautiful view,” she said. “Perhaps you would like to see it?” His heart leapt. Of course he would.

The stars twinkled in the navy-blue firmament. Arianna rested her hand gently on the cold railing. “I enjoy being with you,” she said, “I would like to see you more often.”

Linus moved in and circled his arms around her carefully. “I would like that very much.” He hesitated, about to say more, but her eyes fluttered shut and she stretched up, leaning into him. Their lips met, and something clicked. It was as if they were the only ones in the world. He pulled away, smiling gently. “I have something to tell you,” he said. “I inherited the Billingsworth diamond.” He pulled the clear, egg-sized jewel from his pocket. “And–”

A muffled shout from below caught his attention. Black-shrouded men were moving among the shadows. He stuffed the diamond back in his pocket. “Who are they?” she asked.

“I don’t want to alarm you.” He started to climb over the rail. “Goodbye.” He looked down, searching for a foothold below.

“No.” She caught his hand. “Who are they?”

He looked in her eyes from the wrong side of the rail. “They are after the diamond. They have already gone after my family. I can’t let them get you.”

“You can’t fight them! There are too many. They’ll kill you, and take the diamond anyway.”  Her eyes were wide with fright.

“Then at least they won’t get you.” He stared to climb down.

“Come inside. You can find a hiding place.”

“What if they kill you?”

“I would rather die with you than live without you,” she said.

He climbed back onto the balcony. “You would die for me?”

“You just said you would for me.”

His brows knit in thought for several moments. “It seems like there is no way I can get out of this with both of us alive. I can only save the diamond or you.” He took out the diamond again, its sharp, icy edges glinting in the warm light from inside. Arianna took his other hand. He looked back and forth between the jewel and the woman. With a smile, he threw the diamond over his shoulder. It tinkled on the ground, and while the burglars stared in amazement, Linus let Arianna tug him inside.


Thanks for reading!
~Another Jesus Freak

Being a Teenager

Posted: January 25, 2012 in Non-fiction
Tags: , , , ,

This was on a friend’s Facebook not too long ago. (It’s not my writing or anything…)

A blurb I found on a friend's Facebook about the woes and joys of being a teen.

And all that sparked me to write this…

Everybody says it’s sooooo hard being a teenager. But I haven’t found it to be too bad. Actually, it’s pretty awesome.  Sometimes, we don’t realize  that whatever we do now will make either a good memory or a bad one for when we’re older. We’ve got the world at our fingertips. We’re considered responsible enough to manage our own time, and to some extent, money, while still riding on our parents’ dime for all our needs. We’ve got very few responsibilities, and we’re free as the wind. Even so, that’s no reason to be irresponsible, as so many seem to think is necessary.

Really,  do you have to mess up your body with any combination of drinking, drugs, sex, piercings, and tattoos to prove your individuality or have fun? Actually, whether you realize it or not,  it’s really only to fit in with a bunch of other people who are all going  to regret it sooner or later. Do you have to sneak out past curfew, hang out with the wrong crowd, or swear like a sailor JUST because your parents don’t want you to, and you think it’s “cool?”

Maybe it’s because I’m not irresponsible, or because, as my mother tells me, I was born mature, that I haven’t found these adolescent years to be so hard. Maybe it’s because I see the glass as half full, or because I haven’t yet experienced the “young love” everyone talks about. Maybe it’s because half my teenage years are still ahead of me, or maybe, when people say “teen years”, they actually mean “early adulthood”. Either way, all this angst is exaggerated.

On one hand, I’ve never really tried to fit in, so I’ve been spared the drama that plagues some popular people. No worries about backstabbing friends – my friends appreciate me and I appreciate them.  I also don’t have to worry about wearing the right clothes or saying the right things. On top of that, I know that at the right time, the right Special Someone will like me for me. I don’t wear make-up usually or dress skimpily because I’m not trying to impress anybody.

On the other hand, I have God. He’s a Best Friend who is always there for me, in the good times and in the bad times. He’ll never start drama and He’ll never leave me, so I’ve always had a helping hand through the bad times, and I’ve got eternal stability.

All you people who are complaining about how hard these years are, maybe you can learn something here. (I’m not going to tell you what to learn – you’ve got to figure that out for yourself.) Even just learn one thing from this.  Please, it’s for your own good.

Thanks for reading!
~Another Jesus Freak